Birth: A Guide for Dads and Birthing Partners

Becoming a parent is a big moment, and your role as a dad or birthing partner is incredibly important. Whether this is your first baby or not, being prepared can help you feel more confident and ready to welcome your baby.

Pack your hospital bag

Only 1 in 20 babies arrive on their due date, so get your bag ready a few weeks early. Leave it by the door so you can grab it on the way to hospital. 

👕 A change of clothes – something loose and comfortable to wear. 
📱 Phone and a charger.
🪥 Toothbrush, toothpaste and deodorant
🥪 Snacks and drinks
🩳 Swimwear if you want to go in the birthing pool with your partner 
💷 Spare change for the carpark and vending machines 
💊 Any medication you are taking. 
👓 Glasses or contact lenses if you wear them. 
📚 Books, magazines, podcasts and music playlists.

Find out what mum and baby should pack in their bags too. 

Your role during birth

As a birthing partner, you are there to support your partner physically and emotionally. Every birth is different, but your presence can make a big difference.

You can help by:

• Staying calm, reassuring and encouraging
• Supporting your partner to move into different positions 
• Supporting their birth plan and advocating for their choices if needed
• Helping them stay comfortable (e.g. offering water, adjusting pillows)
• Looking after yourself. Being a birth partner is not easy. Make sure you have enough to eat and drink. If you are finding it difficult, talk to a friend or family member who can offer support. 

Being present and attentive can be a huge support.

Looking after yourself and your partner

Sometimes birth doesn't go the way you planned. You and your partner may want to use the birth reflection service together. This is an opportunity to ask any question you have and understand more about decisions that were made. You can do it any time after having your baby. 

Talk to your midwife and your health visitor about how you are both feeling as they will be able to offer support. If you are struggling with your mental health, they can connect you into services that can support you. You can also do a self-referral to Talking Therapies. 

When you are ready to get out and about with your baby, there are lots of groups and activities you can explore together. 

To my daddy, from your baby

To one of the most important people in my world....my Daddy

We're at the start of an amazing journey. The time we put in now will pay off for the rest of my life. Along the way, I’ll need lots of different experiences to help my brain and body grow.

When you gently rock or dance with me, I learn about touch, my body, and movement.

When you talk, sing, and read to me, I’m comforted by your voice. I’ll learn about sounds, rhythm, and language. I can’t talk yet, so as I grow, please keep trying to see the world through my eyes. I’ll do my best to tell you what I need and how I feel with my body and face. If I turn away, it might mean I need a break or sleep. I’m not rejecting you.

I’m going to achieve a lot on this journey, and you will want to take photographs to remember these moments. But please put your phone away afterwards because I love to see your face.

I love it when you’re interested in exploring my world with me. When I’m in danger, I need you to protect me. I learn a lot through playing. Keep watching me so you know when I’ve had enough. If I cry, I might be uncomfortable, hurt, afraid, or not sure how to deal with my big feelings.

I’m never upset with you or trying to make you angry. Try to stay calm and comfort me. Sometimes it might help to distract me, but mostly it helps to just hold me, so I feel safe and comforted. As I grow, I’ll get better at calming myself, but I need to know I can always come back to you and feel safe again. That’s how I’ll get confident exploring and learning.

My daily routine doesn’t need to be strict. It’s just nice if the same kind of things happen around the same time each day.

Sometimes you might feel like things are getting on top of you, but there’s lots of support out there. Try not to worry if all the different advice is confusing. It’s going to take time and patience to work out what’s best for us, but I know we can get through it together. Before you know it, I won’t be little anymore, so slow down with me; make time for us.

We’ve got this.